


crimson tide

by we_have_cake



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Light Angst, Long Distance Relationships, M/M, Summer, beach au, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-07 03:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_have_cake/pseuds/we_have_cake
Summary: the tide still fades crimsonand you’re still on my mind.but he’s here.





	crimson tide

sunset. what comes to mind is most likely the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever witnessed. your brain conjuring images of the sun sinking behind ocean waves. painting the tide crimson.  
you might not think of blood on the sand. he cut his finger on a piece of sea glass, and for a split second the ocean picked it up red before it washed away.  
you might not think of someone’s eyes. twinkling as they’re filled with sun, brown depths transforming into pools of honey.  
you might not think of someone’s skin. burned red and peeling, but he’s smiling and laughing and i beg him to put on sunscreen. i rub aloe vera gel into his back and he winces.  
you might not think of freckles forming on your skin. i don’t mind. he tells me that the sun is accepting me as one of its kind. he says i’m becoming magic. slowly but surely. 

he’s short. he stands on his toes to kiss me, his lips chapped but they move against mine.  
and i dance. he doesn’t anymore. but his body still remembers and i coax him into my arms and sway him back and forth. when the sky goes dark and the stars are all you can see, he dances for me. i only see small movements here and there. when i piece them together the next morning it feels like something otherworldly. 

the sea, he says. this is who we were, before bones, before dirt, before light. the blue mirror of whatever god there may or may not be. churning proof that we have always been deep and restless souls.  
and I find that the best nap is the one you take after being out in the sun for hours.

i wonder at what point he got to wise enough to know what to do when he finds me crying. we both know that one day i’ll have to leave. i can’t take him with me, we both know that yet it makes my soul ache.  
i drop my book in the sand along with my worries. he runs besides me. chasing the sun as it falls, and him on top of me. he says he loves me, and i say it back, and he laughs and kisses me because he already knew.  
up on tops of buildings, my hotel i’ve slept in once. he holds my hand and tells me the patterns of the ancient stars. how to find my way home. in the beat of his chest, and the black of the water. and again he dances, movements slow and precise. this time the moon glows full and breathes down. painting him in light. magic. the wind threads through his hair. 

 

but the tide fades crimson. i sit with his favorite song spilling from my headphones and i let the foreign lyrics engrave in my brain.

 

what’s the most painful thing anyone has told you? he asks and says to tell him honestly.  
i was told no one else would want me i say, tears threatening to spill. you never really forget. and when my mother left because i was somehow too much to handle, i felt it was my fault for years. some days i still cry about it i say, and he nods in understanding.  
i ask him the same. and he says that when he was seven his older sister called him the most annoying thing ever, and it stuck. and he holds my hand as i cry so hard my body shakes, he cries with me and tells me to never leave him.  
i say i never want to. 

 

and then they accepted me. my dream college. 

 

and ten days later i’m packing my bags. warding off tears and he stands in the doorway, mouth hung like he wants to beg me not to go. i want him to beg, i find, but it would just make it harder. so much harder. we spend another night on the beach in silence. 

promise me you’ll come back, he says in a whisper, breath soft against my skin. promise me you won’t leave me behind. promise me you won’t get too tempted by the bright lights of america, and you’ll always come back home. 

i hook my pinky with his, promising right then and there. he says that when i come back he’ll dance for me. really, truly dance, in the light of the sun. beating down. 

he walks me to the airport. and right before i board my flight he holds onto me. and i have to pull him off. i’m crying. i’m crying so hard and he runs. and i whisper goodbye to myself, to the beaches, to the summer. 

 

my roommate is half american, half korean. born in new york, moved to korea when he was five. he shows me the ropes. this is his sophomore year, his last roommate dropped out. hansol is his korean name, vernon his english. 

he doesn’t question when he hears me crying the first week. when i put the picture of you out. when i stay up late on the phone because time zones are a bitch, and from across the line you show me the sunset. the sunrise. 

seungkwan is his boyfriend back in korea. he knows how bad the separation hurts. we take turns comforting each other the nights we can’t hold back anymore. and we cry. somehow he finds me tim tams, in return i buy him twix and vanilla ice cream. he shows me cheesy korean dramas, and my accent starts to rub off on him. i start picking up more korean. slowly but surely. 

you ask if i’m happy. i tell you that i am most days. but you’re always on my mind, happiness isn’t as happy without you. 

you ask if i’m seeing someone else.  
i tell you never. you look sad, pulled away. 

is something wrong? i ask and you tell me no, you just miss me. i notice the way your voice cracks. 

it gets cold here. when the fire alarm goes off at 3 am because someone decided to make cookies for christmas. they had no clue how to bake. i forget my coat and vernon shares his blanket with me. he drapes it over my shoulders. you promised you’d call on christmas. you didn’t. I’m left wondering but vernon wipes the tears from my eyes and hands me my gift. 

a hat. knit in thick wool, warm and it fits perfectly. covering my ears. 

he noticed that i had next to nothing in winter gear, and he stayed up on weekends knitting it for me. wanting my first christmas away from home to be something to remember. i give him a new pair of dance shoes, and a microphone to record on. 

 

he promises to write me a song. we spend the rest of the night watching Christmas movies that we aren’t interested in. 

 

he holds my hand. it doesn’t feel wrong. 

you call. tell me that your sorry. that my mom says hi. your shirt slips. i see the mark on your neck, i pretend i don’t, and vernon holds me as i shake with sobs. 

he and seungkwan broke up a few weeks ago on good terms, and he tells me that things can get better. that it won’t hurt too bad, not for much longer. that you doesn’t deserve me. when you call a week later i pretend my heart wasn’t broken, and say we should see other people. i tell you that it would be best. and you cry, but you know that in the end it’s better and you hang up first. 

 

i wonder if you dance for him. vernon tells me not to think about it too much, and he dances for me. sings me to sleep. plants soft kisses on my forehead when he thinks i’m asleep. i pretend i don’t hear him crying. 

 

it’s april now. spring break and he spends the first few days in korea, and while he’s gone i clean his side of the dorm. when he comes back we take a drive around town, stopping for ice cream. we sit by the river, as the sun sets. light bouncing off the water, and he’s painted in gold. he looks to me, and smiles. 

i kiss him, then and there. 

sunset. what comes to mind is most likely the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever witnessed. your brain conjuring images of the sun sinking behind ocean waves. painting the tide crimson.  
you might not think of him. with the sun behind like a halo, vernon’s lips on mine, he doesn’t pull away. we stay up talking.  
you might not think of lost love. you still call, and you introduce me to changbin while we’re on a facetime call.  
you might not think of vernon behind me, playing with my hair. the window is open and the birds sing and he tells me about his home. his sunsets. 

i think about you. and i still cry. he thinks about seungkwan, and he cries, and we hold each other. 

 

you might not think about being lost. and then found all over again. 

 

but the tide still fades crimson.  
and you’re still on my mind.  
and he’s here. he kisses me with his entire being, his lips are smooth and soft and they push against mine.

**Author's Note:**

> thank y’all thank y’all, that was a plot twist that I actually like! I hope you enjoyed, drop a kudo, comment anything, and inspire me to write more stray kids shit


End file.
